Licky Boom Boom Found!
By now I'm sure you've heard the news that a terror plot to blow up the Sears Tower in Chicago was foiled by the FBI. Thanks to the FBI for giving me a reason to describe something as "foiled". It always reminds me of Batman's approach to law enforcement in the 60's. The government could learn a lot about how to fight crime with style from Adam West.
However, I am concerned about the media's coverage of this story. The news channels have made repeated mention of the FBI's use of an informer to crack the case. Problem 1: The media is revealing the FBI's tactics to the enemies of America. Problem 2: I can't get the song Informer out of my head. With most of my brain power still devoted to the season 2 finale of Lost, there's precious little resources left to determine whether or not Daddy Snow really did stab someone down the lane.
With my mind so easily distracted perhaps a new approach to journalism is in order. Here's how the Libertastic Legitimate News Channel will one day dispense the news. Every story will fall into one of two categories. #1: Everything is Super!!! #2: You'll likely be killed. As news rolls in to the LLNC studios we'll keep a running total. "Lions escape zoo, that's a #2; Terrorists nabbed in sting, that's a #1". News reports will consist of the day's tally dished out in a super concise 15 seconds.
The advantages to this approach are obvious. No more useless "information" to cloud the audiences mind. No more expensive anchors (throw the janitor on camera for all I care, it's only 15 seconds). Most importantly, more space available for commercials. The steamroller that is the Bush economy can only continue if we all do our parts and buy, buy, buy. I'll do my duty by buying an Xbox 360 despite some luke warm reviews. If I must endure detailed news coverage it better reach me via 5.1 surround sound and digitally rendered, photo realistic graphics. Did you know we're having some problems with the Germans?
However, I am concerned about the media's coverage of this story. The news channels have made repeated mention of the FBI's use of an informer to crack the case. Problem 1: The media is revealing the FBI's tactics to the enemies of America. Problem 2: I can't get the song Informer out of my head. With most of my brain power still devoted to the season 2 finale of Lost, there's precious little resources left to determine whether or not Daddy Snow really did stab someone down the lane.
With my mind so easily distracted perhaps a new approach to journalism is in order. Here's how the Libertastic Legitimate News Channel will one day dispense the news. Every story will fall into one of two categories. #1: Everything is Super!!! #2: You'll likely be killed. As news rolls in to the LLNC studios we'll keep a running total. "Lions escape zoo, that's a #2; Terrorists nabbed in sting, that's a #1". News reports will consist of the day's tally dished out in a super concise 15 seconds.
The advantages to this approach are obvious. No more useless "information" to cloud the audiences mind. No more expensive anchors (throw the janitor on camera for all I care, it's only 15 seconds). Most importantly, more space available for commercials. The steamroller that is the Bush economy can only continue if we all do our parts and buy, buy, buy. I'll do my duty by buying an Xbox 360 despite some luke warm reviews. If I must endure detailed news coverage it better reach me via 5.1 surround sound and digitally rendered, photo realistic graphics. Did you know we're having some problems with the Germans?
posted by Micah at 10:13 PM
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