Progress

Despite being subjected to anger, derogatory slurs and the occasional smearing, homosexuals have made great strides in their quest for equality. Pioneers like the Queer Eye guys, comedian Ant, and Clay Aiken have boldly redefined what it means to be gay. Ok, not really, they're all pretty much what you expect gay to be, but now they're fulfilling stereotypes on TV instead of in bath houses. Look out red states!

Measuring America's progress on the issue of equal rights is difficult. Unlike autoerotic asphyxiation its hard to know when the job is done. However, there are good signs that gay America has achieved its goal of equality. The biggest being that gays are now in a position to discriminate. Long known as a steamy bastion of homo erotic passions, the rainbow draped hamlet of Provincetown is breeding a new generation of prejudiced gays. Hate is the only thing they'll let breed in P-town these days. For details click here.

Reverse discrimination may seem wrong but it means we can stop worrying about equality for homosexuals. It also means we, the silent hetero majority, no longer have to pretend to like our gay cousins. There's always an upside. So the next time you find yourself being verbally harassed in the pink side of Massachusetts remember, your taking one for the team. The team called America. "Now with slightly different discrimination"!