Mary in a tree

Last week I made an offering to god. It wasn't a virgin, incense or my life long devotion but something genuinely useful, my suggestions for improving his image. As he often does, god failed to heed my advice and instead opted to use a shadowy image imprinted on a common object to rouse the spirits of his believers. This time it's an image of the Virgin Mary on the branch of a maple tree. Story here.

God issues aside, this story makes me angry. I'm not anti-religion but I hate the fact that they've got a monopoly on these kinds of human interest stories. If I called the newspaper and said I saw a link to the Colbertocrat Blog in an egg McMuffin they call me a jerk wad then hang up the phone. But if I called and said the Virgin Mary was flashing a peace sign in that same egg McMuffin I'd have a reporter at my house within the hour.

It's not fair. Everyone knows about god but very few people know about the Colbertocrat Blog, Colbertocrat.com or the Stephen Colbert Must Run For President Petition. The Colbertocrat movement was created as a quasi-political movement but maybe a quasi-religion would make more sense. Tax exempt status is mighty tempting. Either way brothers and sisters, do your part to spread the good word. Peace be with you.